I don’t know if this statistic is actually factual, but it’s a common belief that about 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. It’s also a fairly common belief held by society that a marriage ending in divorce is a failure and one that ends with a death (that presumably isn’t a murder) is a success. In this “short” piece, I want to examine those assumptions.
This is the 40th installment of The Labyrinthian, a series dedicated to exploring random fields of knowledge in order to give you unordinary theoretical, philosophical, strategic, and/or often rambling guidance on daily fantasy sports. Consult the introductory piece to the series for further explanation.
What Is The Purpose of Marriage?
For most people the goal of marriage is to stay together forever. And for a lot (but not all) of these “forever” people a secondary (and in some cases primary) goal is to create a family with children.
Now, before I start the deconstructive process, I should say this: In this piece, I am not judging anyone’s beliefs about marriage. Rather, I want to explore our conceptions about marriage in order to make a larger point about the limitations we often place on ourselves when thinking about success.
If two people have been happily married for 50 years but not had any children, have they been successful?
If they have been happily married for 50 years and have five children all of whom are horrible people, has the marriage been a success?
If they have been unhappily married for 50 years and have one fantastic child, is that a successful marriage?
If they have been have been happily married for 25 years, unhappily married for five years, and then divorced for 20 years, was their marriage a success? . . . what about if they had children who were great? . . . and what about if those children were awful? . . . and what if after being divorced for 20 years they remarried each other? — if that happened would the first marriage, which ended but also laid the foundation for the second marriage, be a success?
Or what about the unhappy first marriage that prepares someone for a blissful second marriage with someone new? Is not the first marriage, with a larger view of time, at least something of a success?
Are the people who stay together unhappily for life actually more successful in their marriages than the people who divorce amicably and remain friendly for the rest of their lives?
I suppose that your answer to all of these depends on what you think the purpose of marriage is. Then again, to borrow from N.W.A, “F*ck the purpose.”
What Does Purpose Have to Do With Success?
It’s my belief — based on what I’ve seen of the world and what I’ve read — that too many people lead “purpose-driven lives.” It’s fine to have a purpose, but acting in way that is commensurate with one’s purpose should never be mistaken for striving for success. Sometimes those two endeavors are correlated, but many people believe that they are one and the same.
Setting aside the eventual genocide of the Native Americans — and I’m not trying to diminish that at all — Christopher Columbus was successful even if he didn’t accomplish his goal. Alexander Fleming wasn’t successful in researching staphylococci — an unknown fungus destroyed one of his culture — but through that failure he did discover penicillin.
In many cases, success has little to do with the accomplishment of a particular goal. In such instances, failing in an informative way can ultimately be more beneficial in the long run than the small success would have been if all had gone according to plan.
Far too many people fail at life because they accomplish their goals. Rob Stark never lost a battle. When he lost the war, his untarnished military record didn’t mean much.
What is DFS Success?
I’m speculating, but my belief is that most people are too narrow-minded when they think about DFS success.
Ultimately, the currency of DFS success is . . . currency . . . but that’s only from a total, long-term perspective. Over the short-term, what is DFS success?
Never losing but never adding to your bankroll? Losing your bankroll and then dominating with your second bankroll? Steadily building a bankroll through cash game victories but never risking any money in tournaments? Winning a tournament through sound strategy and then losing all of your tournament winnings through persistent bad luck?
When looking at DFS from a short-term (and thus limited) perspective, one should not equate the purpose with success. The purpose is making money. DFS success, though, is becoming a better player.
Don’t confuse the two.
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The Labyrinthian: 2016, 40
Previous installments of The Labyrinthian can be accessed via my author page. If you have suggestions on material I should know about or even write about in a future Labyrinthian, please contact me via email, [email protected], or Twitter @MattFtheOracle.
